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Saturday, October 04, 2003

Bustamante and Aztlan 

OK, the California Recall is on the doorstep, and there still may be a Termination of justice, but I can't say I'm thrilled by Bustamante, either. His apparent attachment to Aztlan (Note this is not a reputable source, only cited to give context) is curious. Aztlan's premise is logically inconsistent: Mexico was only a nation from 1821-on (before that it was a colony of Spain). The southwest US, no matter how wrongly acquired, has been part of the US for 158 years. Let's see, 158/24 is about 6.5. This means Aztlan is somehow qualifying the US southwest for "return" to a nation that held it for 24 years. It might make more sense to return it to Spain.

Regardless, I can't get excited about any candidate at this point. I guess keeping Gray is the best option, just to keep a door from opening on other ways for candidates who cannot win a popular vote from getting into office.

-Vulf

KAFKA and other literary musings 

It is common knowledge that Samsa is a simple consonant-only substitution for KAFKA in one of the last Century's greatest short pieces, "Metamorphosis" (in my opinion, nothing Kafka produced is better than "The Trial", the most haunting novella ever written..."Like a Dog!").

One wonders, then, if other simple-code/cipher messages are hidden in other great books? Substitute "ch" (a single consonant sound, fair game linguistically) for "m" and "n" for "b" and Moby Dick becomes "Cheny Dick". In the same book substituting "r" for "h" gives us Captain Arab, who from Hell's depth spits at Cheny Dick even after he has killed him. Hmmm, is Cheney analogous to a white whale, too easy that one. I think we're onto something. Wonder how old Moby's heart was, but Melville isn't saying (he's too busy describing in tedious detail how to prepare a luncheon eating the whale's heart; or how to keep Starbuck from popping up in every neighborhood on the ship, putting all the other potential ship officers out of business). Ever notice how old Moby's hidden away for most of the book...presumably in a "safe spot"? Or was he having quadruple bypass?

Switching gears (but staying on an irreverent literary theme), has anyone else noticed some of the oddities in other "great" literature? Here's a short list:
(1) The "Pilgrim's Progress"? How can a book slower-moving than Dan Quayle's associative cortex have "Progress" in the title?
(2) Why is Satan the only character with any personality in Milton's "Paradise Lost"? Maybe because Milton was an apologist for Cromwell?
(3) I've read "War and Peace", and I don't know what I think of Tolstoy's central theme; that is, that individuals do not make history, but history makes individuals. Wasn't Tolstoy writing this book to become famous and influence people's beliefs? Seems a bit like screaming for people to be quiet or drinking to prohibition to me...
(4) I guess I was way off base here, but I thought "Lord of the Rings" was going to be Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance!) joining the circus. Come to think of it, he is an elf, right?
(5) Several have surmised that Bacon wrote Shakespeare. I agree with this. In fact, the letter probably went something like: "Dearest William, Pleaseth thee to send hither two tickets for thine next tragedy? I would wait in the cold to see one of your plays, Best regards, Frank."

-Vulf

Weekend of Sports...so far... 

OK, I'll readily fess up. I couldn't have been MORE WRONG on the Iowa State game. O my goodness, I guess the near-loss by the Hurricanes inspired the Sooners to prove who's the best in the land. I stand in awe.

Fortunately, I took a stab on two college games this week, and could not have been MORE RIGHT on UCLA/Washington. *Whew*. I know from a gambling standpoint that leaves me dead even, but I get to celebrate picking an upset (cover the spread and win outright), right?

Tiger is letting me down a little, but we'll see what tune I can Singh tomorrow.

As for baseball, well the Marlins covered me on the first part of my all-upset predictions there (Am I confusing baseball with the NHL? Hmmm....still seems to me the regular season goes on the wayside in the playoffs in MLB also), but the other three series are still up for grabs.

Lupus clicks you through to a man with a good record...I think. But does his record stem from ambiguity? Who is he picking in the Detroit Lions game, anyway? Hmmm...disambiguate, we know you're great, don't waffle unless your picks are awful. (Easy to say for a Vulf who knows he is fit only to eat table scraps...and the odd Fascist or two locked outside the gates of the city after sunset).

-Vulf

Saturday Sports Extra 

Posted by Lupus

Okay folks, Vulf took up the slack for one particular blogger suffering severe writer block. It even affected the posting of Mark Toft's Friday NFL Column. But have no fear, here Mark is, better than ever. Mark continues his intellectual approach toward his picks this week with the assistance of a friendly internet ouija board.
Both Vulf and Mark agree on thier respective picks for the most part, only parting ways on the Arizona/Dallas game.
Vulf has Arizona in a upset, but Mark and his ouija board are going for the favorite.
Who has it in them? We'll report this Monday


NFL Football Picks

Friday, October 03, 2003

Football Friday 

My fellow packsters are taking a breather this week...I think Coetzee's Nobel Prize He won the Booker twice already, too! touched us all a little more than we thought it would.

But, I will step up to the plate and make some predictions, since it's supposed to be Sports on the Bite on Friday.
NFL Locks (bet the house):
Buffalo over Cincinnati (Bills need these to continue Super illusion)
Oakland over Chicago (Bears belong in Mountain West conference)
NFL Upset specials (bet the spouse--that is, with him/her, we do not condone person trading here on the Bite):
Philadelphia over Washington (McNabb motivated)
Arizona over Dallas (no real reason...just a gut feeling)
NFL Games of the Week (not allowed to dodge these!):
Denver over Kansas City (Shanahan's Sharpeshooters over Vermeil's vermin?)
Tampa Bay over Indy (Manning 6TD 0INT last week...rollercoaster comes down this week)

College (no clue, I'm only picking potential upsets...)
Iowa State beats the spread, if not Oklahoma outright
UCLA covers the spread and the receivers against Washington

and, in other sports...
Baseball
Cubs and Marlins, Athletics and Twins, oh my! (bye bye Yankees). Giants see Bonds walk about 8 times in 4 games, no? Sosa carries the torch for that poor badgered section of society, the "formerly 165-pound 25-year olds who mysteriously weigh 215 pounds at age 30 without taking steroids", into the League Championship Series. Don't worry Sammy--Bonds, Canseco, Caminiti and McGwire will raise a toast (water to wash down their own steroids) to you when the Cubbies beat the Athletics in the Series. Sammy is great, but did anyone have Prior knowledge how good their pitching staff would be?
Soccer
USA beats Germany. Garciaparra freed up to see Mia Hamm in the semis and final by the jinx of the Babe.
Golf
Somebody asks Tiger if he's in a slump...ahem, he's making like $30M this year...golf is just a front-end to his lucrative endorsement of purchasable goods and Swedish imports. Oh, and by the way, Woods is way better than Nicklaus, and Nicklaus was AWESOME. Yawn, Woods wins WGC by about a dozen strokes...nice slump to have. Maybe Rush can do "color commentary" on this, too...pun intended.

Gosh, this is fun, let's do sports more often,

-Vulf

Treason... 

Tis the season
We need no other reason
To let the breeze in
And give Bush a freezin'

CIA name leak

-Vulf

No fun 

Sometimes when I yell "fire!" in a crowded theatre, I'm only trying to have fun.
I don't think there should be a LAW against fun!!!

-Vulf

IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAN'T STAND... 

it's intolerance.

-Vulf

RUSH, what a rush... 

Rush, it's really just too easy. As in a Rush to blame, a rush to find fault, a rush to shame, a rush to assault. The name becomes disingenuous, however, when you consider how SLOW his mind works. I mean, where's he been? I don't watch the NFL (no tv), but read about it from time to time (once a week, haha) in the paper. And I can name (at least partially) maybe half a dozen black quarterbacks...McNabb, Vick, Blake, McNair, Stewart, Culpepper, and Quincy ? for Dallas. Wouldn't shock me if 25% of the starting QBs in the NFL are black. And this guy was GETTING PAID for his football knowledge? Go home, Rush, you're a joke, but you're not funny.

As the real Rush said it better than Limbo/Dumbo/Bimbo/Rambo ever could:
"The universe divided
As the heart and mind collided
With our people left unguided
For so many troubled years
In a cloud of doubts and fears
Our world was torn asunder
Into hollow hemispheres" [Rush, Hemispheres iv. Armagedden, Neil Peart, 1978]
Certainly sums up the Rush and Bush years, "L" and "W", Loser and Whatever...

Especially their hollow RIGHT hemispheres. Oh well, at least they can serve the very useful purpose of providing background calibration for PET scans.

Sadly, millions of people will listen to his next radio show and agree with his diatribe.
Not my tribe. Not my Pack.

-Vulf

Thursday, October 02, 2003

B'bye, Rush! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. 

ESPN.com: GEN - Limbaugh takes 'path of least resistance': "Limbaugh quit late Wednesday, three days after saying on the show that McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed."

Intelligence Leak 

Dubbya is going to be eating Thanksgiving dinner at the Bush family's kids table again if his daddy finds out he's been giving up CIA operatives. But that's the least of his problems if the leak leads back to the Oval Office.

Don't they make whole movies about this? Where the good guys are trying to keep the bad guys from obtaining the secret list of undercover agents?

And all the White House has to do is punch in a few codes then call up their local news reporter to exact revenge for some unruly comments about the President's faulty assertion about WMDs (see Vulf's Sept. 30 posting for definition)?

And let's not foget about the reporter. What the hell was he thinking? He's just as culpable as any of the White House sources.

This may be Bush's final undoing.


-LOBO

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

RUSH Dumbo 

Hey, what a surprise...Rush Limbo said something McNabbed in the Act evincing a future rejection from the Mensa ClubMensa . The ironic part of it is that Donovan McNabb is the second best all-around player in the NFL. Number one? You guessed it! Another black quarterback (Michael Vick). Steve "Air" McNair is no slouch either. Could anyone have made a less intelligent/qualified statement, leaving aside the obvious cobweb of hatred in his head he also exposed. Go away Rush. And give back your name to its rightful owners! (One can only imagine how Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart feel about all this...)

-Vulf

Don Quixote 

If society's reality causes pain
And yours does not
Then who is sane?

We all create a world of our own in our head
And live in this one, not the large one instead
This world is confined to a space rather small
But it reaches much farther in spite of it all

There is no normal, no way to fit in
If there were, to be it would be chagrin
Reach farther, reach higher, reach wherever you dream
This world is not all that they would have it seem

The tangible world is a harbor for the soul
The see other seas surely be our one goal
There is no single factor
Chance is our benefactor
You were not born to just fill one role

Strike at your demons
Strike at your fears
Don't waste all your dreams
Don't waste all your years
Go forth, crazy knight
You always have the right
Make your own reality
There is no finality

-Vulf

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Found those WMD's! 

Yes, it's official, and as much as I hate to admit it, Bush has legitimately, without a shadow of a doubt, found his WMD after all. Unfortunately, this acronym does not mean what we thought!
10. White Man's Disease...the presidential calves allow him to soar over exactly 3.2 credit cards
9. Where's My Donut...he found one under the presidential desk...needless to say, nothing of interest is going on *on* that desk.
8. Where's My Dingleberry...er, hanging from the presidential shirttails, sir.
7. Way More Drinking! "Hell, I can't get a D"W"I if someone always drives for me!"
6. www.votetoimpeach.org Means Democracy. "Damn, they've even figgered I lie out of more than one orifice!"
5. "W"hatever's My Demeanor. As in, Whatever is takes to get "re"-elected...including Wholesale Mass Deception
4. Who's My Daddy!? "Yo, yo, Saddam said some bad things about him and tried to have him killed. I think that's $200 Billion worth of insult to my daddy, don't you?"
3. "W"'s Mommy is on the Dollar bill. I know Washington had wooden teeth and all that, but only Barbara Bush could look that, er, unhygienic. There she is, staring right back at you with that Groana Lisa smile...it says "Washington" under her name because that's the city where her husband worked and her son, well, vacations from mostly.
2. "Why Me, Daddy?" Bush's favorite 'quote' from the Bible, when Christ breathes his last...turns out he was no better student at his self-proclaimed Bible studies than he was at, say, geography (no foreign travel before becoming president...er, while sober that is, he did spend a Spring Break or two south of the border).
1. Who'll Murder Dean? The new presidential mantra. May have to finish off that Clark feller too.

Goodbye, "W", you will be like your Daddy one way...can you say "Single-term president?" Thought you could.

-Vulf

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